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. Last Updated: 07/27/2016

Wanted: Secretaries s intim

People ring up Pyotr to hire a secretary, male or female, but these are no ordinary 140- words-per-minute assistants. His secretaries all offer an extra service: "intim."

You may have seen that word around town. It is usually written in bright-red letters on a first-floor window that has been blacked out. It also appears in lots of ads for masseuses but usually with the prefix "bez," or without.

It once meant intimacy, but now is a not-so-coy euphemism for sex.

Pyotr says his company, Ivershin's Luxury Assistants, is just like any other recruitment firm that finds staff for top bosses. And "the crisis has had no effect," he insisted, even though each secretary earns a monthly wage of $3,000, which admittedly might be quite tempting for those who have had their pay cut recently.

Just in case you didn't get the message, Pyotr's web site is illustrated with a black-and-white photo circa the 1920s of a languorous secretary, skirt riding high. She is sitting on her desk, tapping one key of the typewriter with a finger and holding a cigarette in the other hand while her boss looms nearby.

When I rang up as a PA wanting to hire a secretary for my 180-kilogram boss -- married, three children and halitosis -- Pyotr was eager to help out.

"How about a blonde?" I asked.

"Whatever you want," said Pyotr, who didn't sound at all like the pimps in movies. More like a former choirboy who can send photos -- lots of photos -- for you to make your choice.

Just to check, a female colleague also rang up and found out that male secretaries are also available at the same price.

"Is it legal?" I asked.

Look at the FAQ , he said.

The site explains in the kind of mealy-mouthed language that would get any of its secretaries sacked, that in Latin, the word "intimus" means deep, internal and personal.

"We do not mean that we are involved in prostitution, which is illegal," it adds, quoting a legal definition of the offense that does not mention the word secretary.Instead, "close relationships take place only with ONE boss on condition of RECIPROCAL attraction and on an UNPAID basis," the site insists.

Meanwhile, Pyotr takes TWENTY percent of the secretary's first year SALARY -- $7,200 .

Pyotr said no secretary has left her job yet, but who knows, maybe that is because they are languishing in a house of white slavery just off the MKAD.

If you're wondering, Pyotr, by house of white slavery I am referring to an original Latin term meaning a house of kindness and generosity. It's just that the way they do business is personal and very deep.