Get the latest updates as we post them — right on your browser

. Last Updated: 07/27/2016


King Arthur might have been pushing for a classless Cabinet, but when it came to the round table, he had it all wrong. The lack off corners was good, said Dmitry Kozhevnikov, physicist, inventor and self-professed thinker, but the curves should have followed the contours of the knights' paunches, bending toward the center of the table, rather than away from it.

"It's very simple," said Kozhevnikov, offering green tea and prunes at a table shaped like an ink splat that he designed himself. "Man is surrounded by an aura the shape of an egg. So the objects around him shouldn't be straight and flat. They should curve to accommodate the aura."

Ideally, we should all sleep in egg-shaped cocoons, Kozhevnikov said. But at the very least, our beds shouldn't touch the walls, which only infringe on our extended selves.

True to his word, Kozhevnikov's bed stands aloof in the center of the room, with enough space either side for it to do a 360-degree turn. Following the principles of magnetism, Kozhevnikov regularly rotates his bed, so that his body is aligned with the earth's geodesic lines.

"Sleep with your head in the south for a good business deal, in the east if you have a romantic engagement," he said. North is good for general well-being, he added.

Five years ago, Kozhevnikov made his first curved table. Meticulously crafted out of birch wood, its every inward curve is designed with a particular friend in mind. "The fuller a person is, the more the table will curve," he said.

Kozhevnikov dug into the prunes and explained that the table's height was also important. It is lower than ordinary tables, so that people can lean on their elbows. "In the old days, posture was better because people rode horses," he explained. "Now they slouch whenever they are sitting down. Leaning on your elbows at a low table straightens your spine."

Kozhevnikov's adoration of the arc extends beyond tables. The asymmetrical mirror hanging in the hall is framed with wooden snakes, and his bathroom cabinet looks like a beer keg.

Hundreds of models of molecules hang from the ceilings, left over from his days as a physics student, when his love of curves began. Last year he patented a toy that teaches children to construct geometrical shapes out of plastic straws.

If he had the money, he said, he would build a house for himself in the shape of a snail's shell, with whorled windows and an elliptical bed. In the meantime, he makes ends meet selling his straws at the All-Russia Exhibition Center and constructing tables for friends. "At the moment, I'm making one for a woman who lives in a house with a glass pyramid roof, so that she can look at the sky as she meditates," he said. "She wants a table shaped like the new moon."