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. Last Updated: 07/27/2016

Geordie Genius

LONDON () -- Paul Gascoigne's goal against the Scots was so good he even got a public apology from the media. The Daily Mirror, one of the sharpest critics of Gazza and the England team in general, printed it on Monday's front page.


"Mr. Paul Gascoigne. An Apology," the Mirror headlined in the same way it prints apologies whenever it has inadvertently reported untruths.


"Over the last two weeks, the Daily Mirror may have created the impression that England soccer star Paul Gascoigne is a fat, drunken, loutish imbecile who should have been kicked out of the team before the start of Euro 96," it began.


"It has now come to our attention that he is in fact a football wizard capable of winning the tournament single-handedly.


"We would like to apologize therefore to Mr. Gascoigne for any distress our earlier reports may have caused him and send the following message from everyone at the Daily Mirror.


"'Go get 'em Gazza, you little Geordie genius!'"