. Last Updated: 07/27/2016

Madonna and Child

As Madonna tries on her black nursing bustiers in preparation for the birth of material boy or girl -- due at the end of October -- the nation's press has chimed in with commentary on her condition, the Los Angeles Times reported.

"Get Married, Madonna," Newsweek's headline ordered. "You told the press that you and the father of your baby, the now noted personal trainer Carlos Leon, won't be getting married," said writer Jonathan Alter. "How conventional! How predictable! How uncool! ... If not Carlos, maybe you could marry a woman."

Political wife and columnist Arianna Huffington weighed in as well: "In Madonna's case, choosing to have a child at all is a definite improvement over the lifestyle of indiscriminate, polymorphic sexuality that the Material Girl has relentlessly glamorized." she wrote. "Now we are being asked to swallow a ... pernicious lie: the virtual child [who] will not presume to interfere with its mother's sculpted figure or her hectic schedule."

Even Madonna essayist and guerrilla feminist Camille Paglia says the uproar reflects a genuine concern for the baby's welfare.

"People are having a slight Joan Crawford 'Mommy Dearest' feeling about it," she said. "[Does] she want a child because she can't bond with a man? You get the feeling of a child trapped in a horror movie, a fabulous mansion where the child is the only emotional bond the mother has and the mother is a control freak, a tycoon of international standing. There's something vampiristic about it."

Madonna's spokeswoman shoots back, however, saying such uproar is to be expected. Madonna is, she says, "just one of those artists people aren't neutral about." All uterus-watchers agree on one thing, though: as the delivery date nears, the media interest is likely to swell correspondingly.

In case the complimentary little bottles of booze, free toiletry kit and big, fluffy pillows aren't enough for you pampered first-class babies, Japan Airlines has decided to further deepen societal class divisions by installing "super-luxury" lavatories in first-class cabins in selected Tokyo-New York and Tokyo-London flights, the Associated Press said.

Featuring piped-in music, soft lighting, a three-sided mirror and a window to gaze out at the scenery as you do your business, the toilets are being installed at a cost of $95,000 apiece. But, the airline says, nothing is too good for its passengers who fork over $9,300 for a round-trip Tokyo-New York first-class ticket.

Tossing a bone to the proles huddled cramped and freezing in economy class, the airline said it may later install some features of the luxury toilet -- like a sink that allows you to wash both hands at once -- in the lavatories in business and economy classes.

-- Compiled by Barbara Langdon